Identify Your Stressors

Identify your stressors. They come in a variety of sizes and shapes, they can be human or not, they can be a situation or event-related to family, job or school. And it might even be a combination of things. What causes stress in one person may not even be noticed by someone else. That’s why we can never judge anyone else’s circumstance. We must always try to understand and be tolerant. Go to a quiet place and think about the things that got you upset, frustrated and tense.


Stress is a result of mental overload. That’s why it’s important to keep everything in perspective and exert assertiveness. Use techniques like self-disclosure and workable compromise. Self-disclosure is usually and “I” statement. Never accuse people with a “you” statement. When you say “I think” or “I feel” you’re positioning yourself.

Remember, assertiveness is believing you have the right to state your thoughts, feelings and opinions as long as they aren’t hostile. Workable compromise is getting to a “win-win” which is what negotiation is all about. It’s the willingness to give a little on both sides when you really want something to work.

State your reactions to any situation in a positive way. Don’t reduce the overload that comes from holding feelings in. Instead, deal with the stress and don’t prolong the problem. The classic reaction in the past was fight or flight.

Fight was to lash out at anyone or anything around you. It produces high blood pressure, depression and other afflictions. Psychological stress can trigger hormonal changes as well as physiological ailments. Flight is to withdraw and not deal with it in a classic non-assertive or passive mode, quit or change jobs or departments without regard to self.